I am not sure whether I’ll publish this post or not but I need to get my feelings out of my system.
It was absolutely heartbreaking to hear the news of Caroline Flack. I understand in a way how she was feeling. She posted on her social media about the time she ‘reached out’ to someone regarding her mental health. Do you know what response she got? ‘You are draining’.
In the last 24 hours I have seen SO MANY GOD DAMN posts saying ‘Reach out’ ‘Be kind’ etc etc but if someone did actually reach out to you, what response would they get? I bet you’d give them the same as Caroline got…
Do you want to know how I know that? Because I received exactly the same. ‘You’re being insensitive’ ‘People have lost their babies and you’ve got a healthy one’. People are so quick to judge because they think you have the ‘perfect life’.
Yes, I had given birth to a very healthy baby but that did not stop me going through PTSD and PND ALL BY MYSELF. I can count on one hand how many people reached out to me when I was struggling. I was a very very VERY lonely first time Mum. I didn’t feel that I could reach out to anyone, so I wrote a blog post about how I was feeling. Strangers on the internet cared more than real people in my life. Do you know why? Because they didn’t know me, they couldn’t judge me. They could just see a first time Mum who needed help. I would like to add that some of those strangers are now my close friends and I honestly don’t feel so lonely anymore.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, if someone does reach out to you, listen to them, help them and actually be there for them. Just because you think they have the ‘perfect’ life, does not mean they are not STRUGGLING. What gives you the right to be shitty towards someone and judge them?!
I don’t ever talk about my mental health to ‘show off’ or ‘attention seek’. Not that I should ever have to justify what I choose to share about my life. I talk about what goes on with so many real life Mums every single day and I know that I am not the only one who has gone through this.
I know ‘reaching out’ is not as easy as it looks, so if you are reading this and so desperately want help without the judegement, please contact Pandas (www.pandasfoundation.org.uk)
The FREE PANDAS Helpline is available from 9am – 8pm every day. Their dedicated volunteer team are on hand to offer support, advice and can help to signpost to other organisations if necessary. – 0808 1961 776
Be Kind ALWAYS, without judgement.